Even under the best of conditions, divorce is a difficult situation to go through. When your ex is a narcissist, you might face some challenges that make the situation even more complex.
The divorce isn't going to be easy if your ex is narcissistic. In fact, he will likely make your life as hard as possible just because he can. The good news here is that you can reduce the stress you will feel if you prepare for the antics that your ex will try.
Narcissists focus on the physical not emotional
Your ex is going to want to do everything he can to hurt you in ways he can see, such as taking a larger share of property, costing you more money or making you cry and squirm. Narcissistic people don't recognize emotional tolls in any form. They won't care if you are hurt by something that they do, but they may actually turn your pain into a feeling of power. When you are divorcing a narcissist, one of the most effective ways you can control the situation is to keep a straight face while you are near him. Don't let him see how he is impacting you.
He will want to win at all costs
Your ex isn't going to play fair or even try to pretend like he will. Instead, he will keep score of everything that happens. Part of the danger of dealing with narcissists is that they are in it to win it no matter what the costs. In the case of the divorce, your ex might decide that going through a divorce trial is a way to win. Even if he doesn't get everything that he wants, he will still view this as a power move if he thinks that you were against having to go through a trial. He might even view the expense of going through a trial as a win since trials are usually more expensive.
You must appear in control
You and your attorney can address the tactics of your ex as a team. It might anger him to think that he no longer has control over you, but now is the time to assert your independence. Don't let him push you into agreements you aren't truly comfortable with. He might be unwilling to negotiate about child custody, property division or other points. Instead of giving in to his demands, you need to stand up for your interests. This takes the power out of his hands and puts it into yours.
