Emotions often run high during a contentious divorce. If you and your spouse can't agree on terms for asset division, spousal support, child custody and child support, you may have a protracted legal battle ahead of you. Trying to fight for the terms you want in a divorce can lead to dramatic showdowns with your spouse.
You may both have strong feelings about the best outcome for your custody situation. For example, if your spouse is a heavy drinker, you may worry about him or her having an overnight visit with your children. Your spouse, however, may maintain that any alcohol use will not impact parenting. Not matter what your goals may be, it's important to try to manage your emotions or risk them causing problems in your case.
Getting angry in court or with professionals can hurt your position
While it's only natural to have a strong response to someone maligning your personality, actions or parenting ability, especially when it's your ex during divorce court, allowing yourself to react in the heat of the moment is almost always a mistake. If you shout, storm out of court in a fit of anger or otherwise demonstrate your displeasure, those reactions could make you look unbalanced or even dangerous.
The same is true during any court-ordered psychological or social worker evaluations. These professionals will look for any indication of serious social, emotional or mental health issues with you and your relationship with your children. While anger with your spouse may be completely justified, expressing it forcefully toward professionals involved in your divorce could impact how the courts perceive you and damage your chances of a positive outcome.
Avoid oversharing about the situation on social media
You may feel like you need a place to vent and express your emotions about your divorce. However, social media simply isn't the place. Anything you share publicly on Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat or other social media platforms can end up saved to use against you. Even if you have careful security settings that only show friends your posts, someone on your friend's list could end up sharing a post or even a private message with your spouse.
You shouldn't commit anything to writing, even in text messages or emails, that you wouldn't want the courts to see during your custody battle. Even if you choose to share honest information about why you left your spouse, he or she could use your own words to show the courts that you won't respect a shared custody arrangement or that you have been defaming your ex online.
Share with close friends and trusted professionals
While you certainly need social support during the difficulty of a divorce, you don't need to share your struggles with your former high school classmates or the courts. If you need to express your feelings, meet up with a close and trusted friend to discuss the situation in private.
If that isn't an option or it doesn't resolve your issues, consider talking with a social worker or therapist who isn't involved in your divorce. These professionals must maintain your privacy unless they have reason to believe you may hurt yourself or someone else. Finding a healthy outlet for the emotions that come with divorce can leave you calmer and ready to deal with the stress of court.