Sharing custody of your children with your ex can be a very difficult prospect. Many people focus on the negative aspects of their ex as a coping mechanism to help with getting through the divorce process. It can remind them of why they are ending the marriage and help them handle the difficulty that comes with that process.
However, the antagonistic attitude that many couples take toward one another can have long-term consequences for their family. When their children witness acrimonious fighting, it can make it harder for them to adjust to the divorce. The more couples fight during and after the divorce, the harder it will be for them to successfully work together as co-parents.
If you and your ex don't have a healthy relationship now, it won't magically get better because you divorce. Committing to co-parenting therapy or family therapy may be a way of helping everyone in your family adjust.
Family therapy isn't just for before you file
Too many people think of family therapy as a last-ditch option to save their marriage. However, that is far from the only purpose that it serves. It can also help children and their parents work through issues. For couples who have already divorced or who are divorcing, the right support from a professional counselor or therapist could prove to be invaluable.
You and your ex will inevitably have some conflicts as you work together to parent your children. Family therapy or co-parenting therapy can provide tools that will make that process easier for you and better for your children.
A counselor can help you work out your issues and build something better
Your divorce is most likely the result of a breakdown of your marital relationship. Even if the marriage itself cannot be saved, the relationship that you have with your ex does not need to remain one based on anger and resentment.
You can both work toward taking accountability for your behavior in the marriage and focusing on your children with the help of a counselor. A counselor can give you a space where you can safely talk about the issues that ended your marriage. Alternatively, if you feel like going over those issues again will only make things worse, you can focus solely on issues related to parenting your children.
A counselor or therapist can give you suggestions to ensure that you engage in calm conversations. They can also give you tools for conflict resolution when you inevitably disagree about things for your children. Finally, in situations where the tools you have learned in therapy aren't sufficient, your counselor or therapist can also serve as a mediator to help you resolve issues.
If either you or your ex are struggling to adjust to reality after your divorce in Colorado, co-parenting therapy could benefit your whole family.