Even in the best of circumstances, scheduling presents some challenges. When you throw in an ex-husband and a couple of kids, it becomes even more complicated. Shared custody becomes especially difficult when you can barely stand to be in the same room with your ex, much less communicate with him on a regular basis. Unfortunately, that does not change the fact that the two of you will still have to work together to ensure your children can spend as much time as possible with both of you.
Even though sharing custody may seem impossible, there are some things you can do to make it easier on yourself and your children. The following tips can help you make shared custody a success.
Keep your opinions to yourself
You probably have all sorts of things you would like to say about your ex-husband and most of them probably are not very nice. Do not share these opinions with your children. Instead, save them for your therapist or the next time you go out in Downtown Denver with your friends. Disparaging your ex in front of your children might actually turn them against you later on.
Make it about the kids
When it comes to working out a visitation schedule, keep in mind that it is about your kids, not you. Your goal should not be to try to limit the time they get to spend with their father, but to ensure that they get to spend enough time with each of you. Keep their needs as your main focus and put aside yours.
Plan for your child's needs
When you and your ex are working on a schedule for the kids, make sure it accommodates what each one needs. For example, your 5-year-old will have different needs than your 10-year-old. While your younger child probably needs some kind of after-school care, your older child might have a set activity, such as baseball practice or piano lessons. The schedule you work out should be flexible enough to take care of each child.
If you are heading toward divorce and already living separately, you and your husband may already be working on a shared custody schedule. The above tips can help so that your children can benefit from time with both of you.