Navigating relationships with in-laws can be challenging, especially after a divorce. It is understandable that this can be an emotional and difficult time for everyone involved. For some, the idea of cutting off all contact with your ex-spouse's family might seem appealing, but for others, staying close to your in-laws may be important for your personal life and/or the well-being of your children.
If you find yourself in the latter situation, it is important to remember that there are ways to help make the relationship work. By putting in effort to navigate this relationship with care, consideration, and respect, it is possible to maintain a healthy connection with your in-laws. Keep reading to learn more tips to implement when communicating with your in-laws.
1. Expect Change
Divorcing your spouse can be emotionally draining, and it can be painful or difficult for your in-laws as well. While it is not uncommon for people to stay on good terms with their former in-laws, expectations should be adjusted as the nature of the relationship will undoubtedly change.
The once close bond may now be more distant, and you may not spend as much time together as before. Or perhaps there is tension in the relationship as your in-laws come to terms with the changes. Regardless of these factors, it is important to acknowledge that this loss and change in your relationship can cause grief and emotional turmoil for many. However, with time and effort, you can find a new normal with your in-laws and still keep them in your life and your children’s lives.
Examples of keeping your in-laws close can include:
- Birthday parties
- Gradations
- School performances
- Sports games
- Holidays
- Vacations
- Family reunions
Inviting them to special occasions and finding new ways to enjoy your relationship can help to build a new foundation for your connection. While it may be difficult, it is possible to maintain a positive relationship with your ex’s parents, and finding ways to adapt can be healthy for both parties involved.
2. Be Open & Flexible
Maintaining a relationship with your in-laws post-divorce can be a challenging and often unpredictable experience. While it’s natural to long for the type of connection you once shared, it’s important to recognize that this may not be possible. As you navigate this new phase, keep in mind that your in-laws may need time to grieve and process the changes that the divorce brings.
It’s best to approach the situation with an open mind and a willingness to adapt. You may need to establish new “ground rules” and it may take some time to figure out what works for everyone involved. You may need to further discuss how you’ll continue to communicate and visit one another, especially if children are involved.
Remember that maintaining a positive relationship with your in-laws can have benefits for all parties, and by demonstrating a willingness to adapt and be flexible, you may find that the relationship grows in new and unexpected ways.
3. Maintain Boundaries
As much as divorce is a struggle, it is important to consider the impact it has on your relationship with your ex-in-laws. They may find themselves unsure of how to behave or what kind of relationship to have with you. One way to help smooth the process is by communicating your expectations for the relationship and setting clear boundaries.
If your ex-in-laws are responsible for childcare or other child-related responsibilities, try to keep the schedule and routine as stable as possible to avoid surprises that may upset the relationship. Establishing childcare-related rules and making it clear that they can and should come to you when needed can go a long way in maintaining a positive relationship. Remember, effective communication is key, and working towards a respectful and amicable relationship can benefit everyone involved in the long run.
4. Put Your Children First
Divorce can be a trying time when it comes to the relationship between you, your ex-spouse, and your ex-in-laws. If your relationship with your ex-in-laws is not a good one, it can be challenging to allow them to continue having a relationship with your children. On the other hand, even if your relationship with your ex-in-laws is good, the act of divorce can still cause a rift. That being said, it’s important to remember that your personal feelings toward your ex-in-laws may not necessarily align with your children's experiences with them.
Staying focused on your children's needs can help you separate your personal feelings towards your ex-in-laws from their relationship with your children. It's also crucial to avoid conflict or negative comments when in front of your kids, as this can cause them stress and make them feel like they have to choose sides. Ultimately, it may be in your children's best interests to prioritize their relationships, both with you and your ex-partner, as well as with their extended family.
5. Be Patient
Establishing a stable relationship with your in-laws after a divorce is not something that can be achieved overnight. It requires effort from both sides and may take multiple conversations or interactions to find a balance that works for everyone.
It's understandable to feel apprehensive about the process, but it's important to remember that with time, the relationship can improve. Communication and willingness to compromise are essential in this process. Both parties need to be open and honest with each other to establish a new normal. While it may not be easy, it's essential to make an effort to build a healthy relationship with your in-laws for the benefit of everyone involved.
Divorce can be an incredibly difficult process for everyone involved. It's not just the two people separating that experience the hardships, but their families, friends, and loved ones as well. As you navigate this challenging time, it's important to remember that you don't have to face it alone.
Our experienced divorce attorneys at the Law Office of Alexandra White, PC can provide the guidance and support you need to make informed decisions and protect your interests. Whether you have questions about property division, child custody, or any other aspect of your divorce, we can help. Don't hesitate to reach out to us for the professional and compassionate legal support you deserve.
Call us today at (303) 647-4245 or contact us online to learn more about how we can help.
