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Protecting your kids when your ex dates someone volatile

The process of getting a divorce can bring up issues you never thought your family would have to deal with. One common concern is the safety and well-being of your children, particularly if your ex has begun to date someone who seems dangerous or volatile. In most cases in Colorado, serious abuse in the family, whether it is spousal abuse or child abuse, is one of the only reasons why the courts may deny one parent an allocation of parenting time.

In most situations with two willing parents, the courts choose to divide parental rights and responsibilities relatively equally between each adult. In certain circumstances, one parent can ask the courts to limit access of the other to the children during the divorce or later at a modification hearing.

Your ex dating someone who is openly dangerous is one such circumstance that may require asking for changes to the allocation of parental responsibilities or fighting to limit the time they will spend at your ex's house.

The courts want to focus on what is best for the children

In most cases, the best option for the family is for both parents to share in the responsibilities of financially supporting the children and spending time with them. Unless there are serious issues with either parent, the courts typically view preserving both relationships as in the best interest of the children.

However, if one parent has begun dating someone who has a serious criminal history or who has lost custody of their own children, that may be a red flag that they could be a source of danger for your children. You can step in and ask the courts to intervene to protect your children from prolonged exposure to an unstable individual.

Provided that there is some sort of documentation or evidence of the risks this new individual poses, the courts could very well limit the rights of your ex. In some cases, they may require that the new partner not be present in the home during visitation or parenting time. Other times, the parent dating the volatile individual may have to agree to supervised visitation in a state facility or at public locations like parks to better protect the children.

You can ask for help after you finalize the divorce

Many people don't start dating until they finalize their divorce, which is perfectly fine. Whenever you learn about a problematic person having access to your children, you can take action to protect them. Wanting to keep your children away from a potentially abusive adult who has no formal relationship with them is not the same thing as attempting to alienate your spouse.

An abusive romantic partner can be as dangerous to your children as an abusive parent. It is always better to speak up for an attempt to protect your children than to ignore the potential risk.

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