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Words of caution when divorcing a narcissist

Many factors in a divorce require specific consideration, such as when either party is a narcissist. In these cases, it might be much more difficult to go through mediation or collaborative methods to determine the settlement. This could lead to a messy divorce trial that takes time and money.

When you know that you are going to have to deal with a narcissistic ex, you should prepare yourself for the battle. This can be a challenging process, but you will have to go through it if you want to end the marriage.

Prepare your emotions

One of the most difficult things that you have to do is to prepare for the emotional impacts of the divorce. Your ex is going to try to "win" everything that they decide to fight. You need to be ready to handle this, which means that you will need to put up a mental barrier against their tactics. Remember that they are going to make accusations and statements to try to hurt you and make you look bad. Their ultimate goal is to feel powerful and try to force you to do their bidding.

Decide what battles to fight

You need to go into the divorce knowing what battles you are going to fight. You can't try to get everything, so focus on what you feel is important. Your ex is going to try to get anything you want, even if they don't really want it. By picking and choosing your battles, you are going to be able to expend energy on those matters and leave the rest alone. Beware of the fact that your ex might try to drag the divorce on so that more of the mutual money is spent and more time is wasted. This is done in an effort to wear you down so you give them their way.

Get your case ready for trial

With very few exceptions, divorce cases involving a narcissist will end up before a judge. Starting to prepare your trial early gives you time to carefully consider how you are going to handle the important aspects. You can find out what to expect and work on determining what options you have for each step. Be sure that you have someone who can support you through the process, but remember that very personal information will likely be exchanged during the trial.

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