The intense emotions that arise during a divorce can lead you to act in ways you usually would not. It can be hard to separate what is rational from your emotions. That can lead to compromised decision-making and impetuous or rash actions that hurt you or your family.
In some ways, parents have a special advantage when ending their marriages. They can look to the best interest of their children as a way to make better decisions.
Of course, the other side is that parents will have extra stress during the divorce. This is because they will have to remain in contact with their ex, and because they must worry about how every one of their decisions impacts their children.
Try to keep things focused on what the children need
You may want to win over your ex or feel like the courts validate your experience of the marriage. However, validation in court often comes at a cost to your family. Consider how your children will feel if they have to testify or hear you testify against your ex.
Shielding your children from the worst parts of your divorce is the best way to protect them from the emotional damages divorce can cause. Instead of focusing on what you want, try to think about what the children need.
They need a sense of stability, as well as an understanding that both parents still love them. They also need you to set a good example by compromising and working with your ex, even though it isn't easy.
Embrace the fact that you will likely share custody with your ex
Some couples fight intensely until the very last moment in the hope of securing sole custody. Colorado courts are unlikely to award custody to only one parent. Their focus will always be the best interests of the children, and that standard often involves shared custody between both parents.
Typically, there must be some extreme situation, such as serious financial instability, addiction or abuse, for the courts to award custody to only one parent. Instead of fighting a battle that you cannot win by seeking sole custody, it may make more sense to focus on setting terms for parenting with your ex.
Once you accept the fact that you will most likely have to raise your children together yet separately, you can start to rebuild a relationship where you work together as parents in order to give your children the best possible future in the wake of your divorce.
