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Know when to seek compromise and when to stand firm in divorce

When you're facing a contentious divorce, it's only natural to develop strong emotions about your former spouse and the dissolution of your marriage. You may find yourself wanting to "win" in your divorce by securing certain assets or terms. While this is a common attitude during divorce, it isn't always the most beneficial, especially if you share children with your ex.

As with many difficult processes in life, divorce can challenge your sense of identity and security. With proper support and careful consideration, however, it can become the beginning of something better. Making the right decisions in your divorce isn't always easy, but it is possible with the right kinds of help.

Fairness should be more important than winning

The Colorado courts seek equitable distribution in a contentious divorce. They will do their best to ensure that the way they split your marital assets and debts is as fair as possible to everyone involved. They will not consider issues like marital misconduct when deciding how to allocate your possessions and debts, but they will look at your circumstances and your contributions to the marriage overall. That includes unpaid work in the home.

When you develop your approach to divorce, it's important to focus on a fair outcome. One of the most important things you can do is to ensure that the courts have accurate and thorough financial information about your marital assets. After all, they can't divide assets they don't know about. The asset division process will not have a fair outcome if either spouse hides assets or debts.

If you keep your focus on ensuring that the courts have the right information to make the major decisions, you can rest easy knowing that the outcome is as fair as possible.

Keep things focused on the children as much as possible

If you have children, chances are good that you will have to maintain a civil relationship with one another for the rest of your lives. Your obligations to your kids won't end when they are adults. You can expect to see your former spouse at graduations, birthdays, weddings and other celebrations. Even if you have primary custody and your ex only has visitation, you will still see a lot of each other in the future.

Know what matters most to you and your children as your family unit grows and changes. While it can be difficult to accept, acknowledging that ongoing relationships with both parents is best for your children can help you put them first. However, in cases that involve addiction, abuse or serious neglect, you may need to take a stand for the safety and well-being of your children.

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